BREAK THE MIRROR

I have seen
a lot of poetry
and much of it was
good
and I followed it
right off the cliff
(several times!)
because it seemed I
should

I have been
so easily seduced
by words
and art
and men so smart
Caught the gold ring
and even still
a pathetic thing

I am
the perfect mirror
to any man's vanity
the perfect death
to my own sanity
but I am really tired
of this
the effusions
the allusions
the poems, the roses,
the goodnight kiss
that cannot reach

I know my own truth
and I trust what I see
and this is
how it is for me:
I'm a virtual girl
and I just don't know
how to be real
Now how's that feel?

That doesn't make my love
untrue
So if you think I love you
you are probably right
but you should
stop
and take a look
in that mirror
while it's still good --

I choose men who can't love,
or men who can't feel,
or men who I know
will never make it real
So the holidays are empty
and the joys hollow
all around
when they aren't shared
but I have the grieving down
here where time stands still

This endless pretense
has to stop:
I'm going to break the mirror
It is just about to drop


--XineAnn